Is there a thing in your life you’ve been feeling you really ought to change?
Maybe it’s not urgent and so it’s on a back burner.
You’re probably getting by quite nicely without forcing change… but you know you need to do something about it…soon-ish.
It’s the thing you’re internally procrastinating about, possibly even now whilst reading this.
I know because I have one (or two). It’s ok, most of us have them.
The job you’ve been wanting to quit,
relationship – end,
weight – lose,
fitness goals – commit to,
new habit – take up,
bad habit – let go…
is there something you really need to call time on, but just haven’t yet?
Slightly uncomfortable admitting it (even privately!) isn’t it?
Change we want, is easier to commit to than change we don’t which is harder to motivate ourselves for, especially if it is non-urgent.
We settle for ‘good enough’ because though we’re not really happy, we’re not really unhappy either.
It is worth considering the idea that when we repeatedly choose the path of non-progress on an issue, the non-action is actually meeting a deeper need for us whether we are aware of it or not. Our ‘safe problem’ is easier for our mind to deal with than the uncomfortableness of change.
Reasons we procrastinate:
- When there is no pressure. Pressure creates pain that forces us to make change. No pressure, no need to do anything about it.
- We think we have time (in the future) to get round to it. So we constantly nudge it on mentally to relieve the uncomfortable feeling associated with doing it now.
- We’re comfortable. Personal growth requires effort and is often uncomfortable.
- We’re busy. ‘Nuff said.
Getting clear about why we need to make change
Clarity gives us focus. What we focus on determines our direction. Once we are clear on what we want, our brains go to work to help us make it happen. Asking better questions about our situation is helpful and writing our answers down can be useful leverage once we have committed to change. Questions like:
- ‘What story am I telling myself as to why I haven’t made this change yet?’
- ‘Is this story empowering me or disempowering me and how do I feel about that?’
- ‘Why is it important I make this change?’
- ‘What will happen if I do nothing about it for the next 5, or even 10 years?’
- ‘What are all the benefits of making this change?’
- ‘How am I going to feel when I have mastered it?’
- ‘What can I do to help myself succeed?’
We can have all the tools and strategies to make progress yet if there is inner conflict about the issue in question, we will never incite change. Remember, it is one of our minds’ main jobs to remove discomfort from our life, and so for change to be effective it’s vital we deal with any inner conflicts, and then know how to create leverage to follow through on our intentions.
We all have infinite power to effect change – it is ABSOLUTELY possible. Let’s make it happen!
This post concludes a 4 parts mini-series. Previous weeks’ posts were: