by Olivia Beau
If there’s a common thread of late from people I’m working with and in my social media feeds, it’s the desire to prioritise more time for wellbeing.
Wellness has never been more ‘in”. Over-stimulated, over-worked and over-committed, we have been so conditioned to be ‘ON’, that being ‘OFF’ isn’t something we’re as familiar with. We want to worship at the alter but don’t know how.
If you’ve ever felt so tired yet can’t fall asleep or taken a holiday and not been able to unwind or relax – it’s that.
How have we lost the balance of doing and being?
Did we ever ‘have’ it?
What does the balance even look like?
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Wellbeing, self-love and mindfulness are all intertwined notions alluding to ultimately, a better state in life, but what is it we’re each after? To be happier, more content? To feel better or more fulfilled?
Unless we get specific and define on our terms what it means to be a ‘well’ ‘being’, we’ll chase the ideal without being clear of what we are chasing.
When we struggle to BE
It should be easy right?! Yet I am all too aware from my own journey and others’, that it is often harder than we think, to simply just be.
When we live our lives at extremes, come the end of the day or week, far from being mind-full we just want to be mind-empty. Switching off (from our thoughts) involves indulgent food, alcohol, TV – a numbing. In an effort to be less ON, we are in fact, less present.
Don’t get me wrong, providing we’re happy then for the most part what does it matter?Life certainly suited me this way for years, and I still choose to ‘numb’ now and then but it’s a conscious choice rather than a habitual default.
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What’s so great about being?
Championing the cause of being is not necessarily about doing less but about living aligned with our deepest power and most authentic self.
It means we connect to the world from our core purpose in a state of content that isn’t dependent on external circumstances, people or situations in order to be happy.
For me, it means to be guided more by my soul, and less by my self, content not ‘to do’ in order to justify existence.
A few helpful questions to consider about human doing:
- Do I get an identity from being busy, from all the things I DO?
- Does it fill a need in me to feel important, wanted, validated?
- When there is no DO-ing, what is left? Who am I then?
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Am I scared of meeting myself coming back? Which ‘self’ am I afraid of?
- If I get a moments quiet, do I always feel the need to fill it? What would the silence expose?
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Am I comfortable with doing nothing?
Allowing yourself to BE
All doing no being, means we live a mechanical life where we can’t truly connect to the life we’re working so hard to make happen! All being no doing, means nothing gets done. Finding a balance is key.
- Let yourself have task-less time – don’t ask for permission & there’s no need to apologise.
- Allow yourself to faff – it can be an expression of innate creativity!
- Accept the present – even if it’s uncomfortable, you don’t have to be happy about it, but can you at least allow it?
- Practice quieting mind chatter, start with just 5 minutes. The app Headspace is a great tool.
- Breathe deep and often.
- Leave the future and past where they are and be in the now.
It’s often the smallest of things that make the difference. I chose this image because amidst a crazy showery day in London, the light filtered through the trees and I remember coffee in hand pausing to take it in. So simple yet restorative.
How do you balance being and doing?
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