Have you ever had the feeling you’re on the cusp of something new but there are no clear signs as to what that ‘something’ is?
Our British Spring seems to be the same way. Visible signs have been slow this year and only last week did we have snow – you’d be forgiven for thinking it was never coming!
A few months ago I was talking with a lady (let’s call her April) who knew a change was in the air for her but didn’t know what. As a person who usually knew exactly what she was about, she felt stuck.
Situations like this can be really unsettling, especially for people who prefer the certainty of having their ducks in a row (definitely me!). Uncertain seasons can make us feel (sometimes severely) wobbled. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then this probably isn’t you, but if this resonates, then you’re not alone.
At times like this, there is always a balance to be found between allowing life to evolve whilst feeling we’re doing what we can to make it happen. Here are the steps you can take in order to feel progressive until the next season becomes clear.
1. Assess your expectations and the reality of the current situation.
This is a helpful practice because it highlights from the off, why you feel the mismatch. Given no other person experiences life the way you do (see the last post), it doesn’t matter that your friend thinks it’s not a biggy, it’s your expectations about this area of life that is key in how you are responding to the reality, not theirs.
2. Let go of judgment.
Show compassion and let go of judging yourself for not being able to see a clear path or navigate it like you do other things in life. Judgment comes with a host of emotional baggage you simply do not need to add to the equation.
3. Get comfortable with uncomfortable.
This is a tough call and highly counter-intuitive given our brains will do anything to avoid pain in all forms. Rather than creating stress for yourself, try and find a place within to allow for any felt unease. Vent, call it names, downright resent it if that’s how you feel, but let it be. Allowing the season transmutes it and removes the felt energy or power you feel the situation may have over you.
4. Avoid labeling it a problem.
Unknown seasons can feel like a problem that needs to be fixed by doing. Proactive, make-it-happen people are not used to taking the foot off the gas or to treading lightly through unknown territories or seeing what gives, it simply feels far too relaxed! Sometimes, however, that is exactly what is needed.
5. Borrow certainty from other areas of life.
If the ‘stuck season’ involves work, think about how you can still feel good about your health goals or family interactions. If you feel stuck relationally, can you read, listen to podcasts and be certain of growing your internal world until the issues become resolved. It’s important we have multiple sources through which we can find content and/or fulfillment for exactly times like this.
6. Practice what feels good for the soul.
Feeling unsettled can be disruptive and deliberately taking time for that ever-popular buzz-word ‘self-love’, is a valid course of action. Many of us can struggle to be kind to ourselves, a helpful way to think about it, is to imagine that it was happening to someone else you really cared about, what kindness would you extend to them and offer up as ways they could look after themselves?
7. Avoid the temptation to shut down.
Some of us prefer to process life’s complexities alone and don’t feel the need to tell others. While it can work absolutely fine, what can happen, is that we end up not just keeping our problems to our self but in doing so, shut out the goodness of life. It’s so easy to get embroiled in a cycle of ‘me and my issue’. Genuinely expressing kindness, love, and appreciation to others takes the focus off us and allows for the flow of life.
8. Be guided by those internal nudges
Finally, call it a gut feeling, hunch or intuition, the often quiet-voice of your inner world is your personal sat-nav. All too often we have the ‘life radio’ playing so loud we fail to hear it and miss the directions it’s giving us. Our next seasons are always found within, our challenge is to recognise the prompts, respond and trust the bigger picture!
Here’s to adjusting our sails well!