This week I’m excited to be sharing Part One of what I believe to be vital components for the makings of a great year. In order for us to genuinely feel that anything is a personal success, it has to align with our personal definition of what that means.
Upstream of finding our own ideas of what success is, we often borrow other peoples’. This is absolutely normal, (for example, growing up, our parents or carers are the ones with the map), and can be a gift when we are unsure of our way. However, unless we take the time to work out what winning looks like to us, we can fall prey to the collective thought that says: ‘this is success, this is how you get there and these are the signposts you need to look for along the way’ (the education system springs to mind!).
We follow thinking it will lead us to where we want to be, only to arrive and find out that it’s someone else’s success destination, not ours. We achieve the goal but feel unfulfilled.”
Achievement and fulfillment.
Consequently, not everything we achieve will result in us feeling happy. This is how someone who has a stronger value for spending time with family, can have an outstanding year at work and still feel a tug of ‘not enough’ inside. They succeeded by many standards, but not in the area that aligns more strongly with what they value most.
Personal empowerment begins with asking “what do I want to achieve this year, and how will I be fulfilled?”
Our ideas about success are often linked to what we’ve previously been validated for, but we can redesign the map. This sometimes happens naturally at various stages of life where we pause and think about what we really want, but is also a good practice to do deliberately at times, such as the start of a new year.
My purpose as a mentor is to help others design a life where the doing and the being exist in harmonious balance.”
How do I know my definition of success is true to who I am?
It is probably true for most, that the desired outcomes we seek for our 2018, will be rooted in both what we value, and expectations of what we think life should look like in said area.
Identifying why the outcome you want is important to you is where your personal truth lies.”
In life-design sessions with clients, I want to know the motive behind the transaction so to speak. For example, clients may come to me wanting to lose weight and become fitter but then I want to know WHY that’s important; i.e ‘what do you think that’s going to mean for you’? Their answer here may be simply ‘I want to be able to love myself more’.
With each thing you are committed to this year, consider the following:
“my purpose for ‘X’
is the belief that I’m going to ‘Y’,
and that’s important because I want to feel ‘Z’
- Define what you think the outcome will give you.
- Is this in line with your core values as a person?
- Validate yourself by stating why that’s important to you.
To have the choice be able to define what success looks like to us is an immense personal power I’m sure our ancestors couldn’t even have dream of. One thing I know for sure, is that unless we make a point to stop and get really focused about what we want for our life, it will simply happen by default, not design.
NEXT WEEK we’ll be looking at Habit Stacking and the compound effect of positive daily commitments.
Do you want help to bring balance to your year? Did you know I offer a FREE 15-minute mentoring session? Have a look at the mentoring page for more information.