Are you struggling to get your head around a future you can’t plan?
Do you feel a loss of control and want to help yourself get through this time the best you can? I’ve got your back, we’re gonna look at it here, and breathe…
Do you want in?
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This January is unlike any other so it doesn’t make sense to approach it the same. Here in the UK things have escalated and we’re now back in a full lockdown situation.
It’s unthinkable, but we can and we have to get through this.
2020 was a year I felt SO WELL for reasons you’ll find both here and the links shared. Despite our restrictions, I’m committed to living the coming months with intentionality. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to feel I’m treading water till the pandemic’s over with life on hold.
Yes, regular life’s still in the air. There’s so much we can’t plan for, but we can take control of more than we may think and help ourselves to move forward with STRENGTH.
I’m not living your life so I can only write from mine. However this finds you, I hope there are at least a few nuggets you can steal from this today going forward. Let’s get to it.
Upfront, wherever possible, I want to ask you to think about January only. Just the coming month.
Where you at?
Are you at the end of your emotional and energetic reserves on the back of 2020? Do you just need to be able to keep surviving through your days?
📌 Focus on what gets you through your days. Remind yourself that every day is a new day. Nothing lasts forever and be prepared to mentally steer yourself as many times as it takes.
‼️ What we lean into in crisis tends to stick. As many good and positive things you can have in the mix of life (as opposed to negative coping strategies) the better.
Do you feel you’re doing ok… but only just? Perhaps you want to take a particular area of life to the next level but also know it may be too much?
📌 Staying in maintenance mode may be wiser. Release yourself from trying to achieve more than you are able to. Keep showing up for yourself as you have. Be content to prioritise stability. Don’t pay attention to outside influences that may have you feeling that everyone else except you is ‘levelling up’!
✅ If you want help with being more consistent, take a look at the habit tracker in the resources section at the end.
Or lastly, do you know that no matter what happens this month (or year), there are things you need to address?
📌 If your higher self knows that whatever came to mind just now was in the mix before Covid struck, then is it now time to make that change happen? The Becoming Yourself Course and Mentoring is all about that!
Before we dive in further, I want to invite you to take a step back from the body you occupy.
In a calm and rational state (this may be a push for some I know 😉 but try to create space), think about yourself as a human being you’re responsible for.
You’re the boss
By the time we get to the end of January:
A) what’s it going to matter to you that you did/ made happen/ achieved?
B) how do you want to feel?
Go back to the three scenarios we just looked at, or insert your own. Your answer to the above questions will vary significantly based on where you’re at.
If A comes at the expense of B, do you need to reassess?
If you have the desire for a knockout business month and you want to feel in your best health or know you need to be there for the family, is it realistic if you’re already struggling on 2020’s coat tails?
Taking time to pause like this can be UNDERRATED but here’s why it’s imperative in times of crisis. Ready…?
When you decide in advance what’s important to you, it becomes the card you play when your mind starts to worry, or you feel you’re not doing enough.
You just have to remind yourself it’s yours to play.
When you’re scrolling social and you see what everyone else is making happen, you have a card to play, to remind yourself of what you agreed to with yourself, about WHAT MATTERS TO ME THIS MONTH.
The mind will catastrophize to try and protect you, but whenever you feel yourself move into a worried or anxious state, you can take back control and move yourself to a powerful state.
You do this by reminding yourself of what you said when you were feeling calm and in control.
Adjust your sails
How well we feel in any particular month, year, or season of life is comes down to our expectations of both it and our self.
Are you expecting yourself to take on this year just like you’ve taken on every other new year?
Don’t be afraid to let go of how life ought to be. Letting go sucks but it is the golden ticket to freedom for so many personal issues.
“I create a dis-ease in the present moment whilst ever I view it through the lens of ‘how it should be and isn’t”.
Two books that mentored me through this process for YEARS (they’re well-thumbed pages!) are The Untethered Soul and The Power of Now.
My No.1 priority this month
I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but meeting your needs as a human should not be accidental.
Become knowledgeable about what your physical, mental, and emotional needs are. Then look to meet them positively.
Basic things like walking, eating well, turning off the TV earlier to get a longer sleep in add up. Enjoying and connecting with others and doing things that make us feel good and productive are all small steps that stack.
These WILL make a significant impact when you commit to them and see them as an act of service to yourself and your greater life, rather than a chore.
The Bright Side
Finally, something that doesn’t come naturally when we’re in survival mode: the lighter side of life. Allow in, make time for, and cultivate it any good way you can.
I write this as a Tigger-type personality who for years found herself as an Eyeore and wondering if Tigger would ever return. I hated it but I knew I had to do the hard work and go through the healing process.
If this is you and you find yourself living out life as someone you don’t recognize, then take comfort that you’ll see those days again.
For now, learn to recognise the brief moments of joy.
Here’s what I mean:
A few years ago in a personal valley, I noticed that when I was around my younger nephews, that there were brief moments I forgot my problems. I remembered hearing that one of the surest ways to access higher-energy states is play. The act of having to play with them (to be fun aunty Wivs) became rays of light on otherwise grey days.
New Year usually sees many of us marking some significant dates in the diary, things we know we’re going to look forward to. This year’s not the same and so you may have to scale down how you tick the enjoyment box.
If you do nothing you’re going to notice it. Life gets real small, reclusive, we move less, so we feel like doing things less. Which perpetuates more of the same.
Over the years, I’ve found light relief/ happiness/ joy/ comfort in many ways including:
Chats with my close people
You’ll know that though all of these are ok (i.e neutral), some become harmful when taken to the extreme. Learn to find joy in the simplicity of life and you’ll never be without.
Want to get practical?
Make life happen with The Habit Tracker.
Read the blog & get the FREE tracker here
Go Big or go home?
Nah. Go small or you won’t go at all!
30 ways to take easy steps here
How to be OKAY when life isn’t.
Everything I’ve done to steer myself through the toughest times in life and the pandemic, is here in this meaty blog post.
Need to improve your WFH situation (working from home)? Watch this YouTube video.
Netflix I’ve enjoyed recently
Dream House Makeover
The Minimalists: Less is now
The Mind Explained
Bringin’ me joy this past month
Verano Watermelon Gin
Decorating the house. Lighter and brighter feels GOOD!
Fairy-lights deliberately left up – (because why take them down when January’s so grey).
Bit of an epic this month but thought you’d appreciate (or at the least allow it) as I’m not providing daily content on social this month… which reminds me I need to blog about it soon because I’m a little surprised with how I feel about that after 10 days!
Till next time… Olivia